The day so good it broke my blogging efforts. And yet also the day so good it started them. It was the miraculous and yet subtle kind of day that one is terrified to portray. I have rarely felt the gear ratio of life to be turning so smoothly in my favor. Everyone I met that day and later that night was a real member of my karass. The day was Kurt Vonnegut and the night was Jack Kerouac. And I’ll always be struggling to accept my gratitude for both. Who I’m meeting by chance is illuminating within me the parts of myself to trust. Trust the examined life, trust Star Trek, trust adventure, and trust community. Someday I’m going to have to write lots about this day, the morning after I wrote most of the first four days worth of reports. I was inspired and awake as soon as light dreamt of cracking.

Here is that morning’s view from our shelter, built in 1928.

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Humility is the gift you get to get over and over again and by it’s nature arrives only when you really need it. My defeat at Bear Mtn left me with extra humility and extra big blisters. But who am I to say what is essential and what is excessive. I took a video of me lancing my biggest blister but I know enough to say that sharing this would be excessive.

I went back to that Hessian Lake concession stand, stocked up on water and got another chicken sandwich, this time without the insanely greasy bacon. Then it was back from whence I came the night before. Eventually, I made it to West Mtn where some day hikers warned me about the big rattlesnake they’d just seen. I’ve heard for every one you see, there are three you didn’t see nearby. In the city we have a similar expression about rats: for every one you see there are hundreds of thousands you didn’t see.

I honestly hadn’t expected to encounter any truly deadly snakes. Prior to the trip, I didn’t waste a moments fear on any of the wildlife. My rule of life is: they are more afraid of you then you are of them. But I’d really only been thinking of bears and other fellow mammals. Rattlesnakes in New York was news to me. They might be more afraid of me, but if I were to bumble right next to one before either of us noticed, I am more afraid of their fear response that my own. So once again it was singing time, with some stick clanking for drums.

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My bold hymns kept from seeing anything big and deadly on the mountain. I did see these beautiful lizards as I rested and ate near a shelter. And in the bright private light of day I found a tiny threat clinging to my body. The smallest tick I’d ever seen had attached itself. I’d rather not say where, but there are at least two words for it which rhyme with tick.

It was smaller than half the flecks of mud on my legs, and I realized that years of scoffing at the threat of ticks was very brash of me. After a shower and under good light it’s not so hard to find a tick if you’re just a little flexible. Especially, if it is a wood tick, and you have mirrors, or a friend to check your backside. Now I have to ask strangers to scope out my bare ass and back, and I have to distinguish from the common fleck of dirt, which also likes to cling more than I’d realized.

All in all it was a good day for developing and confronting fears. That night I stayed in my tent near the William Brien Memorial Shelter. Water was promised but I had to settle for fire instead. As I was scoping out for water a man named Lorenzo arrived at the camp. He’d parked nearby having just driven in from the city. A saxophonist first and a cook and caterer second, he was on day four of a fast and had come up to sleep under the stars. He made a fire and we sat and talked while I plucked my uke and appreciated the company. He was a very calm guy and said he’d be joined tomorrow by his girlfriend. I would have liked to have met her. I find the relationships I’ve observed in these brief passings to be quite interesting. That night I used up my water, meaning it would be a dry four miles to Lake Tiorati with it’s promise of water and showers and, gods be good, maybe food too.

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I hesitate to tell people how little I really thought this thru. I’d only really glanced at maps of the trail, and so it hadn’t actual occurred to me that the train was taking me north of New York City (metro-north, duh!) On Monday I’d cried and said goodbye, but now I’m crossing the Hudson and getting to mountains that promise views of the city and signs that say it’s 34 mi away or 52 by foot. And I feel awful homesick and my heart aches. Along of course with my feet.

But such is life. Walk it off. And I do all the way to Hessian Lake at the bottom of Bear Mtn. I arrived at the concession stand as it was closing and got another chicken sandwich. Perhaps it was my naturally flirty demeanor, but the sisters who worked there kindly gave me two free slices of pizza and fries.

Food reviews seem somewhat silly, but I will say that it was better than Canopus Lake, but not as good as the morning’s stop at the really stellar Appalachian Market. The cook Ricky, made me a McRicky which is his breakfast sandwich with maple bacon, sausage, and cheese between two pancakes. I only regret not getting a Monte Cristo for the road, I’m sure it would have been fantastic.

I walked around the Hessian Lake, got emotional thinking about the Revolutionary War and chatted with some international students attending the local Shiva. It took awhile for them to accept the idea of this hike, which was a fun sort of conversation to have. I miss the talks I’d have in France with teenagers, where because of the language barrier (their crummy English, not my indefensibly bad French) everything is possible. Since no one has confidence in their own or the other’s comprehension, a whole conversation can take place without anything ever really being nailed down. It all just spreads forth in the eternal present.

Despite my leisurely chat I still felt the eternal presence of all that greasy food and it made for slow trip up Bear Mtn. Fortunately, the mountain has been thoroughly tamed. Recently, stone steps were crafted which take you up the 1300 ft with a more human rise/run than other mountains. They showed pictures of the volunteers who built it. The quality of the stonework led me to believe dwarvish hands were at work, but the women pictured didn’t seem like they came from Middle Earth at all. I guess the lack of runes was another clue.

Atop the mountain I met some northbound thru hikers: Tin Man, from North Carolina, Segway from Georgia, and Australian woman with beautiful black ink work all over her arm and legs; images of Frida Karlo and a spool and needle behind her ear. I was happy to sit with them and watch the sun set, but I was kicking myself for having so much more walking to do, now in the dark. In retrospect, I should have just found a secluded part of the mountain to set up camp.

Instead I followed the white blazes that signify the AT until they came to a street. No trail on the other side so I consulted my guide book which covers ever inch supposedly. It read ‘Perkins Memorial Drive.’ So what to do with this road was up to me. Left, right, or across. Left was downhill so my lazy instincts pulled me there. Eventually, I found the blazes again and followed them into the woods. I was racing downhill building up a blister to remember, perhaps only a mile or so the next shelter. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

When the trail dumped me out of the woods it was dark and it took me awhile to realize I was at the backside of Hessian Lake where I’d been chatting the afternoon light away not long ago. I tried really hard to unrealized it, to climb back in the womb my cheery misconception where I’d been living so happily only a few seconds ago. But you can’t indulge stinkin’ thinkin’ like that, so it was back from whence I came up those now clearly yellow blazes to try and find some flat stealthy spot to camp. I felt a little tired and bitter as I lanced my blisters, but in all things there is victory. Especially, considering how much I felt like the blister being lanced at my last job.

Swam in Canopus Lake and ate a chicken sandwich. I think when this is over I might be all done with fried food.

Twas a long 20 mi to Graymoor, the next shelter, in the ballfield of a Franciscan Monastary. I’d spent the whole day hiking and thinking about Jesus and imagining his sense of humor, and how he shows us that we are not victims even when life is really sticking it to you. The Jesus which hung on the cross above the monk’s cemetery looked miserable though. This alabaster bag of bones looked completely victimized and I had trouble imaginig him smiling and pointing at his heart. A visualization which had come easy to me all day.

When my energy lagged during those 20 mi, I kept thinking of my friends and loved ones and favorite historical and fictional figures pointing at their hearts and smiling. Compassion is the key to limitless energy and miracles of all sorts.

A brief note on miracles. On the trail it’s called trail magic, people who live near the trail and do crazy nice things for these stinky dharma bums. Often this means coolers with water, soda, snacks left in spots along the trail. It could mean a ride, or a meal, or a offer for a shower.

After a particularly steep climb I figured I was now on Canopus Hill having done about 17 mi with 3 mi remaining. The passing hikers who told me Graymoor was actually 8 mi away nearly broke my big open heart. But I pressed on, and when I actual did make it to Canopus Hill, with hardly anything left to give, I found a full cooler with a beer for me to take. I’d spent all summer snubbing my nose at Budweiser and near beers like it, but at that moment that Bud was the single greatest thing to ever happen to me. I was practically bouncing to Graymoor, singing a song of compassion:

All dogs go to heaven,
Even Dick Cheney will go to heaven!
Even the ones you hate the most,
Even Adolf’s ghost,
They all get to go to heaven!

And that was just the first song I sang about Dick Cheney. The Graymoor shelter had people and electric outlets for phone charging and I was happy as hell to be there.

Life after rain is good. The bright orange salamanders and morning fog agree.

After a bit of hiking, I swam in Nuclear Lake.

I thought it was a new clear lake, but it derives it’s name from a more obvious source. Nights later I would hear familiar sound of a nuclear warning siren testing itself. Though why you would test it after midnight is still a mystery.

That night I camped outside of a very modern shelter. And stayed up chatting with a true outdoorsman named Banquet. I also realized I need to start keeping a lot of things to myself lest I become the heavy. I may want to drag every conversation longer than 30 minutes into the muck and mire of existential and apocalyptic thinking, but better just to listen and learn.

The train from Grand Central to Harlem Valley-Wingdale left me off around 2pm about 4 mi from the trail. I’ve since learned that the overgrown brick building I passed as I left the station was an insane asylum. And the reason this metro north stop was built. Years ago weirdos like me riding this train from the city would be arriving for their EST, lobotomies, and stays that would last the rest of their lives. Thankfully, it’s the future and I’m just passing through.

I stumbled around trying to find the trail for awhile, so when I saw this fence hopper which screamed AT, I nearly did as well. And check out that scenic path up through the field. I’d seen maybe all of one picture of the AT before embarking and it sure looked like that. And look a water tower! My navigation book mentioned that. Off I go!

After about a mile or so I ran into a friendly hiker, with the handle Fire Marshall, who was also heading south but in the opposite direction. He’d been hiking since Maine so I trusted that he knew which end of the trail pointed down better than I. I walked with him to a garden center that’s friendly to hikers, he spent the night on their back lot between the highway and the train track. Having not really made any progress I decided to press on.

I made it to the treeline as it started to rain, and by sunset was at the top of a very charming mountain where I decided to camp for the night. I got to watch a thunderstorm in the distance, so far it could not be heard. Then another one rolled in to my right. But I could see the stars above me and as close as this second storm was I as confident it would pass me by. I fell asleep with it doing just that. I awoke however with another storm directly atop me. It was then I realized I was on a mountain in a lightning storm I should probably start praying to Thor, Zeus, and Jesus’s Dad to not beam me up just yet.

Prayer can only hold up so well to fear, so I switched to counting. Which also informed me that one of the bolts landed closer to me than any division between sight and sound. After making sure I was thoroughly afraid the storm move it’s way and I drifted off to sleep.